The idea of a dream.

I’ve got this dream where I can bring my art supplies and a friend can bring their art supplies and we can just draw and jam. I have another dream where listening to music translates into movements. And no one will murmur comments about epilepsy and the duration of the siezure :).

When I’m working at a kids camp being silly and trying seems to work. When an adult, that dream takes more work. IE Hi pleasssssssssssssse!!! Show up Saturday the 24 th at Kiva Hans for Art. I promise to try and keep it laugh and make you laugh. Really I just laugh anyway. It’s not too far from that I beat up on my ‘stupid dream’. It’s not stupid it will just take work and others energy to help it grow farther. And if it is not me that makes this dream a reality then it will happen some day. I can merely try. Over and over again.

It gives me something to try on a saturday afternoon anyway 🙂 and I love the Italian soda and Kivas Nachos aren’t bad either.

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What’s your name?

“You can call me what you want, but my name is Veronica” A song I used to listen to.. sad but good.

I was waiting in line for some musicians to sign my new /cheapest CD of theirs I could find. I’m on a budget. And a guy asked me if I was in a relationship and asked me for a name. The woman behind me already knew my name and she later gave me some advice. You need a name for going out. Avaun used to change her name nightly when she went to the bars. She would fake an accent and make a new language up that she wounldn’t expect anyone to know. She had been married as well. She joked especially since we were the first in line, we were both irish festival virgins, and behind us were these preteens who were all oozing excitement about meeting a real musician.  Due to moving she had followed the band from Richmond where they were founded to Pittsburgh where they were playing.

When asked by the musician what my name was.. I became Gio. Short for Giovanni.

 I’m out for the night listening to celtic music. To the musician my name is Gio, short for Giovanni. I love the name and I look Italian to some. A wild name Gio the gypsy who may borrow the Irish steed for the night. I’ll bring it back when I’m not so busy running away to a land that I don’t know but it involves moonlight and trying to become part a wild audience brandishing lighters. I don’t drink, atleast much. I managed a little sip of whiskey. And my friends are having a hard time with breathing with the smokey area of a concert. The air was so heavy, she stated.

And yes lifes air is heavy. It’s heavy with memories. Included with those are those of 9/11 and the days that followed and the wars that followed.

“Dear god,

When this war is done can we have a little peace” Woad warrior

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“You didn’t think that I would remember?”

Yesterday and according to a few of my close friends and a few days before were heavy. I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I called many of my closest friends to find out that no one could get me out of my black hole. One friend spent time on the phone chastising her children, and I just wanted to be with my own daughter, Penelope and get a few hugs from her. I listened to another person talk about her husband. What my husband and I fufilled for each other after the lost of Penelope was broken. So we parted ways.

  I called the last person that I could think to call. And then afterwards  I cried my eyes out. I miss having people that are always there. I wasn’t sure if my friends from out of town would make it. And I listened even if I wasn’t quite up for it to some really good advice. Some days I’m very bitter about the state of my life right now.

And then I put my worn out tennis shoes on. And then I walked out found a folder to help organize the inner choas of my nursing bag. Two nursing agencies have binders that I bring to school. this means I often carry about 3 bags with me at any given time.  It brought a future for Monday. A plan with less bags and less mess! (A moment of peaceful reverie for every woman trying to balance it all!)

And then I walked out and met the silly energy guy (Next time I’ll have a name for this great man). There is something to be said about someone with style and chuzpah. We had met once before at GNC. I needed some “Good days” pills.  We talked about pie in the sky. He saw me and asked how was I doing. I said something towards the end of “HORRIBLE”. We talked and he said after the suitations that i’ve lived through that it’s suppose to be that way. His eyes twinkled  when he told me in about 5 years from leaving I’ll start having those heavenly moments where not everything reminds me of the lost. He also let me know that he had been through everything on my list. He added in that he decided to stay with someone where the relationship was not working out and how much burden that added to his daily life.
The human heart is complex. I do not want to make myself suffer. But having someone along the way smile and say “I’ve been here too. You’ll make it out. And then… he added something else. His eyes twinkled even more and asked me how my art dream was going. He remembered!  Really and he is looking forward to the continuing of the art dream. Tonight I go hiking  and talking art with a friend. Tomorrow or sometime soon I’ll share the dream with a proffesional artist/ art teacher. And I hope it builds stregnth as it goes and the art that brings a smile to my face in times of difficulty can be shared and have a community to express it.

for now I dream to have stregnth to make it through another day. Another week. Another year, until I find that place where a new life lives inside me.

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so about swimming in dreams

I’ve been following other peoples dreams recently. Mostly because mine are the same dreams as my reality involving a little too much of the extrement of life. But that is bound to happen as a nurse.


Here is the begining of things that I’ve read that just sounded interesting

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So I have a challenge for myself this week. Yes have some downtime given everything that I’m processing. (Trying to finalize the divorce, looking at schools, and enjoying the last bit of summer.) But for every day that seems impossible,  I throw down this gauntlet: 60 minutes of creativity. 30 minutes of sharing my cool stuffies with other people and 30 minutes sketching my fairytale art. Why not?

Oh and I’m trying to post some more of my art that I’ve sent to friends from my cell phone.

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Hey it happened!

Yes again I had a pie in the sky event. It was the second of its kind. It was just me and another person and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

 What’s next? To advertitise

The date:Sept 23 at 2:30 pm

location: Kiva Han (across from the musuem)

People to let know: mass emailing, a facebook event, email teachers that teach art from colleges and to keep trying. I met two new people this weekend, one professional writer, and the other a cook who is also an artist.

I will get the number for art show at the library for another art sharer. Dream dream dream.. It’s sometimes hard to remember to keep a focused effort maybe it’ll pay off at some point 😉

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a baby asleep in the trees

 sweet dreams. These moments only last for so long before you are strong enough to climb out of the branches and walk on the ground.

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